Tuesday, January 12, 2021

January 5, 2021

It was my first job out of college and the closest to power and influence I’d ever get. It was 1990 and I was a staffer for Senator John W. Warner (R-VA). I welcomed visitors, manned the phones and wrote correspondence. I also gave private tours of the Capitol building. I was young, dumb and broke and when I wasn’t miserable, having the time of my life. My boss, a former Marine and Secretary of the Navy was quite frankly, a badass. A World War II veteran and UVA law school graduate, he was incredibly articulate, funny and principled. His colleagues respected him and his staff was incredibly proud to say we worked for him. 

I learned the history of my new workplace from the most generous of teachers - my fellow staffer the quick-witted and knowledgeable Marion McDonald and the official red-coated Capitol tour guides. Out from behind my desk and the ringing phones, I fell in love with the place. I was awed by every bit of it - the maze of marble hallways and heavy mahogany doors, massive oil paintings of American struggle and triumph, the imposing statues of our forefathers and national heroes, the clever symbolism hidden in almost every architectural detail. 

My tour group could be anything from personal friends of the Senator to a family from rural VA to an entire classroom of students from over the river in nearby Arlington or Fairfax. We would begin on the steps of our office facing the Capitol. Once a Senate Photographer had snapped their photograph, I’d begin. I’d draw their attention up to the figure on top of the dome. At about 26 stories high, in flowing robes, gazing toward the east, stands “Freedom” a 19 foot tall bronze statue of a young woman. Under her feet, the pedestal reads “E Pluribus Unum” - out of many, one. I’d tell them she faces east to ensure “that the sun would never set on freedom” and at her back is the west, our country’s hopeful future she guards with helmet and sword. Paying her respect seemed a good place to start. 

We’d make our way across Constitution Avenue to the Capitol’s small east side entrance, me flashing my Senate badge and fighting back stage fright, my group chatty and excited. Once inside the soaring Rotunda, bickering siblings fell silent, boisterous schoolchildren became focused and frazzled adults grew calm. Again, we all gazed upward, this time underneath the dome. I began to tell the stories of how our young nation impossibly came to be. I explained how those sworn to represent them made laws under this roof, with all this history around us a reminder of where we’d come from and what we were capable of. I believed in the greatness of the place and I wanted them to also. I’d take them up to the balcony above the Senate floor and we’d sit quietly and listen. We witnessed both monotonous droning and inspirational appeals, friendly banter and heated arguments. Through the maze of chilly basement corridors, especially if the group included children, I’d point out the small paw prints embedded in the concrete floor and tell them the tale of the “demon cat” who took joy in terrorizing night watchmen. When it came time to say goodbye, I’d remind them to never take for granted what a remarkable thing it is to live in a democracy like ours. I’d return to the papers and phones on my desk both exhausted and exhilarated. 

So it was with a sick stomach that thirty years later on my local news channel, I’d watch a mob smash their way into the Capitol and parade through the Rotunda. They broke windows, rummaged through desks and knocked over lecturns. Many seemed to wander around without a plan as if surprised they’d actually gotten in. It was oddly hilarious at moments. Grown men in ridiculous outfits and body paint prancing and posing for selfies and putting hats on statues. Then night began to fall. A noose was erected, rioters shouted “where is Nancy” and “hang Mike Pence,” trapped staffers texted loved ones, hammers and metal pipes were brandished, shots were fired and smoke filled hallways. Bones were broken and blood was shed. Five people died. 

On my couch in Virginia, I couldn’t help but think of my own experience on the Hill and how far away it seemed. Genuine friendships existed among members of the two parties, news was news and not entertainment, and presidents behaved like adults. I’ve heard more than once,“this isn’t who we are.” I believe it is indeed who some people in our country very much are. I couldn’t help but think of a scene in Dickens’ Christmas Carol I’d recently watched. The one where the imposing, jovial Ghost of Christmas Present pulls back his heavy robes to reveal the wretched creatures “Ignorance” and “Want” huddled beneath. Scrooge, repulsed and terrified, asks whose children they are and the ghost growls “they are Mans.” He warns the selfish Scrooge the gravity of neglecting them. On Tuesday at the Capitol, the creatures beneath our pretty robes were exposed. Among them were corruption, greed, racism and willful ignorance. The question facing all of us remains - what are we willing to do about it?