You Know You Live In Fairfax County When

You've said or heard the following....

Regarding Traffic:
- It took me 45 minutes to get home from Tysons.
- Ever heard of a turn signal, buddy?
- It took 10 minutes just to get from 123 to Nutley.
- My signal was on for like 5 minutes and that *bleep* still wouldn't let me get over.
- Oh. My. Lord. We aren't moving. I hate 66.

Regarding Dining Out:
- You guys want to go to Coastal Flats?
- Let's have drinks at Ozzie's first.
- Want to meet for lunch at Cheesecake Factory?
- I saw like 10 people I know at Bonefish Friday night.

Regarding Hosting Out of Town Guests:
- Are you flying into Dulles or Reagan?
- My cousin and her kids are in town. We're going to the Air and Space Museum.
- Lucky! How did you get White House tickets?
- Ugh. I have to take them all the way out to Mt. Vernon.

Regarding Kids Sports:
- He made the A team!
- He made the B team but that's good because he will get more playing time.
- He made the C team. He wants to quit.
- I put her in golf lessons, I hear there's a lot of scholarship money for women's golf.
- He plays travel, AAU and takes privates twice a week. He signed up for four AP classes next year and is organizing a charity coat drive. He wants to major in engineering, maybe go to MIT, Tech would be his fall back. What's your eighth grader up to?

Regarding School:
- When are they going to get rid of half day Mondays?
- Who's your math tutor? Can I have their number?
- We spent four weekends filling out college applications.
- Did you sign up for SAT classes? I heard they're full.
- She has a 4.3 and didn't get into UVa.

Regarding Knowing People Who Work for the CIA:
- She works for the (air quotes) State Department.
- He works at (emphasis) Langley.
- I heard he works for the (whispers) government.
- I don't know, she's a government contractor or something.

Regarding Fast Food:
- I totally need a Five Guys. Wanna go?
- Whatever happened to Roy Rogers? I heard there's one left in Springfield or something.
- Why do I always want Chik fil A on Sunday?
- Let's just drive through McDonald's.

Regarding Local Celebrities:
- Have you SEEN Yorktown High School? I heard they have a Starbucks now. Apparently, Sandra Bullock donates millions.
- Is your kid following Ryan McElveen on Twitter? I don't get it.
- Had dinner at Jackson's the other night and saw a bunch of Redskins hanging out.
- Sorry I'm late. Things came to a standstill to let he presidential motorcade pass.